Gabriel Iglesias

Swarming with eager fans, all anxious for a good laugh, the Arlington Theater was nothing short of a raucous and exuberant mob last night. Stand up comedian Gabriel Iglesias succeeded masterfully in packing the house. The salsa music blared as people flooded in to take their seats in anticipation of an epic show.

And the show was epic indeed.

Gabriel had an entire posse of performers precede him on stage, all comics, all with different styles and approaches to simply making people laugh, and making them laugh uncontrollably.  There was Martin Moreno who couldn’t stop talking about how forty is the new twenty. Mr. Moreno copes with his middle-aged crisis by crudely joking about it amongst thousands of fans. I suppose that’s far more therapeutic and financially astute than buying a new car.

Martin was followed closely by Rick Gutierrez who jokes a mile a minute. I commend him on his ability to speak that fast and succeed in rapidly punching the laughter out of us. His facial expressions were incredible, so animated. Rick’s core topic was simply how times have changed since he was a little boy. From diet, to toys, to punishment, to poverty, the times have changed. He tossed out quips about weight and how “fat is an epidemic. If fat is an epidemic, then I’m infected,” and followed up with a bit about forcing his son to go outside and play. His son responded with, “Ahh, what is that giant thing in the sky, it’s so bright, it’s stinging my eyes, aahhh.”
The times have certainly changed.

Next was Comedy Central’s Alfred Robles whose shirt was plastered with the words, “not the designated driver.” His nervous tic of rubbing his front left pocket seemed a bit suspicious. Good thing he’s not the designated driver. Alfred threw out lines about engagement rings and how girls like to claim that it doesn’t matter where the ring is bought, oh, but it does matter. Robles says “I heard that jingle, ‘Every kiss begins with K.’ So I got my girl a ring from K-mart.” Apparently not so acceptable. From drunk hook-ups with fat girls in little shirts, to being offensively referred to as a borderline diabetic, to even throwing out a Chewbacca reference, Alfred had the crowd rolling throughout his segment.

Noe Gonzalez danced out next and made an effort at reaching up to the top of the microphone stand, but due to his size, he couldn’t. Noe’s shirt had a blaring “I’m 5’2”, F#$K it!” underlined with rulers. His entire bit was about being small. He had an ongoing character named Little Man that would come to the rescue in the middle of all of his jokes. His most notable cause is saving children from the jungle gyms at McDonald’s, considering most normal sized adults exceed the height restriction. “Aww thanks Little Man” …”Anytiiiime.”

Intermission exploded with a 5X t-shirt contest. Some rather large fellows and two eighty-pound tweens competed for a free size 5X Gabriel Iglesias shirt. The winner, a young man from Switzerland, was forced to do a face-off with a large dude named Big Worm. Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy” shook the theater along with Big Worm’s catwalk and striptease.  The whole act was gag-inducing, but entertaining nonetheless.

And then the final act took the stage, Mr. Gabriel Iglesias pushing 400 pounds, back and fluffier than ever before. Gabe’s disclaimer for life is “I’m not fat, I’m fluffy.” He took the stage with gusto, greeting us with joy and gratitude, proclaiming about how he used to perform shows at The Coach House to an audience of eight. We’ve grown. He raves about the incredible accommodations here in Santa Barbara, including the luxurious wind machines that decorate his stage.

Gabe doesn’t just sit down and write jokes out, he tells stories, and last night was no exception. He had three big scares this past year and he boisterously shared each tale with us. From getting stopped by border patrol in Arizona, to accidental pregnancy, Mr. Iglesias has wild stories to tell and his presentation is absolutely gullet-jiggling. He seamlessly interacts with us in the audience and improvs his way through the night.

His performance was tailored to the Spanish-impaired, for those of us who don’t speak much Spanish. Gabe would break down certain jokes so that we would understand the punch line, and although explaining it made it less funny, at least we would go away having learned something new, which was his main priority. Jokey jokes are jokes that are racially charged and inappropriate, and he’s got pockets full of them. He hops into different accents and dialects with absolute ease, from Southern, to Asian, to high-pitched female, to even a flawless Mickey Mouse impersonation. I was thoroughly impressed and actually a little awestruck.

Gabriel Iglesias is a very personable performer and unlike any I’ve seen before. He was obviously brash and offensive, as most comics are, but he displayed a very vulnerable and emotional persona throughout his show. He shared stories about acquiring a certified pre-owned step-son and the terse interactions with the boy’s father. He shared sweet and intimate bits about his relationship with his girlfriend. He went on to share about his recent diabetes diagnosis and how his weight is severely affecting his health. Gabe almost underwent a gastric bypass surgery but decided against it because he didn’t want to look deflated. The sound effects were phenomenal.

A respectable and commendable performance left us begging for more, so Iglesias took special requests from the audience for just over an hour. His entire show was all new material and so he decided he’d like to appease us in the audience by performing some old stuff, despite the psychological runaround it sent him on. He found it really strange to be telling stories that the entire audience could recite along with him.

Gabe wrapped up the show by throwing out a promotional description of his new show that should be hitting the air this time next year. The show is focused on getting new comics on the air and it’s entirely produced and directed by Mr. Iglesias himself. It will be controversially located in neither Los Angeles nor New York, but Arizona, near the site of the checkpoint where he was absurdly harassed and interrogated by the border patrol.

The Fat & the Furious, the taco truck big, the hot and fluffy Mr. Gabriel Iglesias is responsible for the tiny bit of ab definition I discovered in the mirror this morning. He had me hunched over laughing for two hours straight.

Now I’d call that a good show. An epic show indeed.